This letter was post marked 05 may 2007. Ben Harris now works and lives in NewYork State at an organic diary farm. I am glad that Ben is there observing what is right about our world.
My second set of visitors left to the beach for the day. I have my space and tranquility once again. Only now I feel strangely more at peace then if I was here living day to day alone. They have a daughter at three and a boy at every bit 14 months. Our worlds resolve around his naps and moods. Most days started before the birds raise up the sun. The boy wakes first then the rest of the adults. Every morning the domestic orchestra started its tuning. Discorded sounds of food preparation, tea kettle whistling, the boy wants his mom, time outs, dad running water in the sink, the cell phone rang, shower, and thumping of little feet swirl to a suspended crescendo. Then everyone dashed out to the car to be swished to the beach. My world is mine once again. Absent from a little young family storm, my tranquility is more precious. I realize what I want more than my peace and tranquility is the heighten sensation I get from deprivation of the thing I cherished. Having my sanctuary is great, safe, but I am only satisfied and fulfilled to have the experience again after doing without. It is so human nature, so what does this say about all the things we cherished like our freedom and peace? Could it be true that we have and need to give up those things in order to build up a miss and a longing for them?
I am perfectly safe in my world, but that world sometimes lacks emotions. Being angry, feeling loved, or useful, or happy are not normal for me, all are fleeting. What I feel is a mild stage of satisfactory with some emotions thrown in occasionally, sunny with intermittent shower and clouds. I happen to like rain. I deal with sadness or emotions involving another person, a girl friend, almost as poorly as speaking a foreign language. I am an even-keeled person only because I am not comfortable with all other emotions except being slightly content, but having this knowledge does not make me more awake. I want to feel the next emotion.
Are having the same feelings and doing the same thing over and over again basically similar to being numb and doing nothing at all?
We are born with all the ranges of emotions, why are we not expert of our emotions? Let me introduce you to Ben Harris he is a professional loneliness, practicing in the lost art of not having a single friend that he could converse with. Or here is my girlfriend Toni she has a degree in happiness. Could an emotionally over endowed person function in a society where everyone else is even keeled? I think there is a word for someone like that, a “nut job” if referring to an adult. Emotionally strong adults get little pills to go with their meals.
My friend’s son is an expert in emotions, happy then sad within minutes. He gets time out right after an onset of wailing to regroup. It seems to work because he quickly forgets why he was crying. His Dad commented that a 14months old has such control over all in the same house hold. He ruled with his emotions, but by having that little guy under my roof makes me appreciate that moment I have for myself again.
A friend Ben just moved to New York State to begin a new venture in his life already filled with adventures. He is going against the norm of going to live and work in a big city. He is following a path most of us dare not to take. Ben is going back to work with the land and to raise dairy animals the old school way, organic.
Swimming against the tide to pursue his dream is what my friend is best at. In this world where organic and small scale farms are being abandoned to make way for mc mansions or are in danger of disappearing, taken over by to mono crop or industrial farms. he made a decision to go into a career that may in the future be as important as medicine or finding a cure for HIV. In his small way, his by pursuing a mean to maintain a tie to the land and promoting a healthier way of eating and living through organic dairy will someday save the rest of the poor wretched mindless consumers of prepared products. A reversed-pioneer, instead of going West as goes the saying when this country was young to look for fortune, he went back to the East. Ben left behind fifteen years worth of friends and memories in Alaska. Now, his worse fear is not venturing into the unknown or taking risks, but being alone without friends. At least Sir Ernest Shackleton has his crew on the Endurance when he was stranded in the Antarctica.
The farming profession is a lonely, thankless, unglamorous profession. Men and women leave farms to head for the lights of the cities. Ben is now in a rural farm and deep in that loneliness. He wonders how he could ever collect new friends like those he left behind. I also left friends whom I fed and cared for over my thirteen years stay in Alaska. I went through what Ben is faced with, differences being I am in a place I chose to be, for him it is place he has to be. My new friends in Hawaii are new. My relationships with them are not quite satisfying, but I think over time I too could cultivate through “care and feeding”so that I will again have a fruitful family of friends, my tribe.
Friends are like plants, fruit or vegetables; need the essentials, like our time, nutrition and that symbiotic relationship, give and take, in order to grow. Only the human fruit needs a great deal more care. Do we find our friends or they find us? Do we grow the plants or they grow us?
As for my brave friend, I will use my mental telepathy power across 6 time zones to send some reinforcement, some friendlies his direction.